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Beyond Comfortable

Roslyn Loxton - Monday, December 29, 2008
“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)

Our bodies actually have a mind of their own.
Recently I have been working with a Personal fitness trainer and it became screamingly obvious to me that our bodies are very good at giving us messages that we respond to without questioning them.
The result of responding to these signals and not questioning them is that we become essentially efficient at being lazy!
Our heart rate begins to increase and the muscles begin to feel worked and all the messages we are receiving is to STOP!
STOP running, stop expending energy, stop pushing our self past what we know as our 'comfortable'.
So, what pushes us past our "comfortable"?
Why push past our comfortable? 
What is beyond our "comfortable"?
It is our vision for what we wish to achieve!
It is our wishes, our dreams, our Goals.

Pushing beyond our "comfortable" is harder, tougher, requiring far more effort than we expect it is going to take.  So we set off to lose weight or start a business or learn a new skill or to grow and improve in all sorts of ways and when our experience is equal to our heart rate increasing or our muscles burning....

We have 2 choices...
So ...
1.  Take the full leap
2.  Take a half a leap and land in the canyon.  The canyon is known as the "valley of excuses".

Let's face it, finding all sorts or excuses for not pushing past the pain barrier and pushing our self past our 'comfortable' is less indignant than admitting defeat or worse, acknowledging that we slacked our way back to where we started.

We have our own power to achieve our own happiness.
Let's say you have power equalling 10 points. 
10 points of personal power to use to create things in your life that you desire.
For everything external from you that you blame for your lack of happiness or lack of self success you lose a point of your personal power.
You actually give your personal power to the very thing you place blame on and make it more powerful.  You feed it when you blame it.
You give your power away with lame excuses and ineffective blaming.

  1. I didn't want to have children - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse
  2. I have never been give the opportunities other people have - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse
  3. My partner makes me feel incapable - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse
  4. I am too tired to do anything extra - Lost one of your point and gave it to that excuse
  5. I had a poor upbringing - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse
  6. The government aren't supporting me properly - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse
  7. Nobody showed me how to do it - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse
  8. This system doesn't work - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse
  9. I've had no training - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse
  10. I don't look as good as X - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse
  11. I have never been trained - Lost one of your points and gave it to that excuse

The good news is, you can take points back from the blame you initially gave it away to.  Just decide you are going to take full responsibility of finding ways and acting on those ways to achieve what you would like to achieve.  If you got trapped in a sinking vessel you are going to instinctively find every way to get to air rather than relax and sit back
wasting time blaming what sank the ship for not preparing you for this situation.  You immediately use every thinking
mechanism to establish ways to fulfil your needs, which in this case is air.

In the sinking boat situation the threat of death is very proximate and evident by giving your power away to blame.
In most of our cases, it is more like a slow deterioration leading to death when we allow blame to get in the way of our true happiness and our true potential.

Ros Loxton - Great Thinking

10 Rules for being human

Roslyn Loxton - Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Ten Rules for Being Human 

by Cherie Carter-Scott


You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.


You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."


There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."


Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.


Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.


"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."


Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.


What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you.



Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.


You will forget all this.



Roslyn Loxton - Sunday, November 09, 2008



If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it at one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Rose coloured glasses

Roslyn Loxton - Monday, November 03, 2008

Are they rose coloured glasses?


Each month “Great Thinking” Personal Coaching updates its blog link depending on a commonality of theme that seems to uncannily reoccur through the month having an effect on so many of my clients within that month.  Perhaps that is a perfect example and therefore an ideal segway into “Are they rose coloured glasses?

To lead into the meat of the blog...To know and not to do is not to know or sometimes we know stuff but we forget it or it gets overshadowed by other moments, thoughts and information.

You see people and situations through your own “coloured glasses”, your own personal set of filters.  Put on a pair of 3d glasses and everything you see is slightly altered.  I would like to hop into other people’s heads sometimes just to see things how they are perceiving things.

The way you perceive ‘things’ is due to the filters you have developed, your personal filters are not in your eyes, they are in your brain, your thoughts, they are in the maps in your brain that have formed over your years of experiences.  We actually see what we are expecting and assuming.  A small easy example of that is when you purchase a new car, all of a sudden you become very aware of and consequently notice heaps of those cars on the road. A slightly more complex explanation of this is perhaps expecting a certain behaviour or result from somebody that is not exactly positive and therefore finding that result and not being pleased with your perceptions.  (This could explain why you don’t see eye to eye with your Mother in law or your co worker or why you find every cab driver in the city very rude etc).

It is an extremely powerful reality to understand and live by in the corporate or business sector or in families and relationships.  If we look for warts and weaknesses, we will see them.  Then we will behave according to what we have perceived.  That’s not rose coloured glasses.  If we look for potential and strong points equally, we will find those or something shimmering in the dust that could manifest into a positive.  A bit like diamond or opal mining, the gem is there in all its glory disguised within a muddy looking rock you would merely step straight over it if you were not looking for it.  I know I have been opal mining.  I know because I have had a team member I was in charge of leading and coaching who was due to be fired due to my leaders only perceiving the muddy rock.  He is now in a promoted position earning six figures in that same company.  If we look for potential and strong points equally, we will find those, then our own behaviour, reaction and thoughts will naturally occur as a result of this perception.  It is a useful habit to adopt.  “Rose coloured glasses”

It is your classic glass half full or half empty with a bit of a lemon twist.  We perceive what we believe.  It is an extremely powerful reality to understand and live by.  Be mindful to this and question your own set of realities, relationships and experiences.  Is there a common theme of positive or negative?  What colour glasses are you wearing?

Just expect to find the potential in everyone.  Have an awesome month Babes.

Throwing Punches Under Water

Roslyn Loxton - Monday, November 03, 2008

Throwing punches under water.

Change – an inevitable aspect of our existence.  Nothing stays exactly the same, though seemingly so in some cases.  An Island looks the same in one persons snap shot lifetime, though, over time the island is constantly moving, growing, shrinking and changing whether you like it or not and wether it suits you or not. 

A pyramid, seemingly steadfast, though over time is eroding and changing.

What doesn’t change is change itself.  Change while constant and often silent can be met with such resistance.  Resistance that is like throwing punches underwater, pointless.  The changing landscape of our societies systems can be in direct conflict with what we have come to know and how we have formed our life around those things we have come to know.  We often resist the inevitable changes – aging, death, relationships ending or starting, development within our community or country or workplace our economy and what we think are our needs.

Our life will constantly present us with change and the need to make adjustments to compensate for change.  Our perception right or wrong of changes will affect our personal experience from that change.  Our capacity to accept and adjust accordingly will have a bearing on our experience and there for our new results.  If change is inevitable, expand your line of sight from right in front of your nose to much further out and understand what the cause for change is.  Then embrace how to make it work for you, it serves you better than throwing punches underwater.   Change is inevitable whether you resist or adjust.

What cake are you cooking

Roslyn Loxton - Monday, November 03, 2008

What cake are you cooking?

In this age of knowledge, “The Secret”, Life Coaches, Fitness Coaches and any kind of self help you can think of, I find you have to ask yourself, well “What do I actually want?”  I ask this question all of the time and the answer is almost always a resounding “I don’t know” even with happy people who have great careers and great relationships.

I was taking a power walk this morning thinking about my business and my financial income goals and my home etc.   I was faced with the reality that at the end of the day, my home is currently my biggest priority.  My business is a huge priority, though if one had to move aside for the other for whatever reason, my home has to come first.  This is different for everybody, though if you are not aware of the core motivators in your life at any given time, it can be difficult to make decisions that serve you well, it can be a cause for the conflicts and confusions in anybodies day.  This brings me to one of the blogs on my web site... What cake are you cooking?

We are a result of the thoughts in our mind.  Who we are and what we have now is a result of the thoughts we have had so far.  We can only perform an action based on the thought in our mind.  The result of that action may be instant and obvious, good or bad or it may have more of a long term impact. 

If we want to cook a cake we have a plan, a recipe an order to follow to achieve the vision in our mind or the picture in the recipe book of “The Cake”.  First we have the thought and then we make it happen.

Then, everything counts.  A lolly eaten a word said or unsaid.  Seemingly insignificant occurrences all go into the rich tapestry of life, your life.  It all has some kind of effect at some point.  So why not be strategic about what we add into the tapestry.  A few pinches of salt instead of a few pinches of sugar make a mammoth difference to your expectant taste buds.  A few nasty words in place of a few encouraging words have polar opposite results.  So, what are the results you want?  Like the cake recipe, you know it’s a chocolate cake, you see the picture in your mind or in the recipe book.

To explain further, A plane flight has a plan, its destination and expected time of arrival. A plane in flight can be off course for the majority of the flight, though only a tiny degree off course seemingly insignificant over a long distance will lead to the plane ending up in the incorrect destination.   The captain has to continually check in with his flight plan and control tower to maintain the correct flight path to ensure arriving at the correct destination.  This illustrates the necessity to have a flight plan.  A strategy and a control tower to keep you focused in the right direction.  If your flight plan for the next 10 years has you slightly off course, your destination could be like the plane,  way off the desired destination.

You can let life happen to you or you can go out there and happen to life. Drift along banging into things or steer your own ship.  Plan ahead, get your flight path or strategy or your recipe.  Check in with the control tower to keep you on track.

We get what we put up with.  Or we decide what we really want and we make plans to make that happen.  If you are going to work hard, it might as well be because that is a part of your grand scheme or it’s what you love to do, what you resonate with.  Then, it’s not so much like hard work. It’s having a life, it is knowing who you are, what you want and what you have to offer.  It makes you complete, in the moment, centred and happy.  Not beside yourself living a life that was dished out to you because you forgot to ask for what you really wanted.





Tips and Bits 06 August 08

Roslyn Loxton - Monday, November 03, 2008


There are many things in your life that will catch your eye
 but only a few will catch your heart....pursue those...


Habit 4

Think Win/Win

Win/Win is not a technique; it is a total philosophy of human interaction.

Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying.  Win/Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan


Here and now

Being aware of your current moment is something we can overlook as we look to future moments constantly.  Everything we do seems to be in preparation for a future moment.  Taking stock of the present moment is a good habit to adopt so we get to appreciate here and now and the fruits of our past labours.



Your Body
Need a new fitness goal?
It is a perfect time to try on your swimming costume and summer jeans, shorts or work skirts to see how they are feeling. This reality check will work wonders in ensuring you are not falling off the rails with your diet and exercise habits.


Worst supermarket foods

Here are the top 10 foods to avoid placing in your supermarket trolley (thanks Suzie)

  1. 2 minute noodles – even if they are no longer fried, they still contain masses of salt and the same amount of carbs as 3 slices of bread. Choose hokkein or flat fresh noodles instead.
  2. Meat in a can – doesn’t the name say it all?
  3. Jelly – a mix of sugar and artificial colours and in many varieties the recently UK banned sodium benzoate preservative.
  4. Fruit Twists – high GI carbohydrates marketed as a healthy snack choice.
  5. Cordial – see jelly.
  6. Frozen meals – if a food has an ingredient list as large as the box, it cannot be that good for you (an omelette or tuna topped potato are just as quick to prepare).
  7. Fruit straps – no, it is not as good as the real thing.
  8. Chocolate nut spreads – more sugar than nuts and it is too hard to stop eating it.
  9. Chocolate flavoured or iron man breakfast cereal – does that surprise you?
  10. Pre packaged cakes – more trans and saturated fat than you need in a week, also see 6) RE ingredient list.


If I took you for a walk through a cemetery and lead you down a pathway to a new burial site and on the head stone, was your name, what thoughts would race through your mind?  What would you like people to be saying about you and upon reflection what would you have liked your life have been about? One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time.


Burn baby burn

The starting point of all achievement is desire... the lack of persistence is one of the major causes of failure.  The final leg or the home run of any journey seems to be the toughest and if you can’t see the finish line or if you don’t have a strong vision and burning desire for what it is you wish to achieve, your persistence may wane. 


Recipe (I could eat a tonne of this)

Yummy Winter Veggie Salad

Fresh beetroot Boil and cubed

Carrots steamed and cubed

Sweet Potato Cube and boil

Mushrooms lightly fried

Corn (tin of)

Baby spinach

Chick Peas

Fetta cheese cubed


Mix together and stir through a little basil infused olive oil.




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To trial Personal Life Coaching, email or call Ros to book in for a complimentary one hour session.


Tips and Bits 31 Oct 08

Roslyn Loxton - Monday, November 03, 2008

Testing times testing you? 

I think... that circumstances occur in our life that test where we really really stand.

If you are on the fence or trying to convince yourself that you are leaning a certain way,

the universe will send you some circumstances that make you realise where you really stand.  This is especially testing for those of us who prescribe to the law of attraction theory.  This works yes, when you are 100% committed and persistent in your approach to your desires or goals.  You can’t trick the laws of attraction with wavering faith.  So if that is what you are doing, even if it be ignorantly, at some stage, the universe will call you on it.  My suggestion... be 100% committed to your goals and desires, make sure they are REALLY the right ones for you.  Then in the face of adversity or challenge, you’re far more likely to rise to the challenge.

Nicely put
 “Love your life and it will love you back. Fall in love with your life to bring about positive change!” ~ Sourena Vasseghi, author with severe Cerebral Palsy, confined to a wheelchair for life.

“No rest is worth having unless it follows work.” — Saadia Gaaon.

“We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” Chuck Swindoll,


Don’t die a thousand deaths

Reducing anxiety... Ask yourself, what is the worst thing that can happen?  Mentally prepare for that at least to some degree so it doesn’t plague you causing you to unnecessarily die a thousand deaths.  Then move forward focusing your precious energies where they are most needed.



New Year’s Resolutions 

Do you have clarity around what you plan to strive to achieve in 3mnths, 12mths, 3 years, and 10 years?

I challenge you to give it a go... get a pen and paper and write down what you might like to achieve.  Don’t restrict yourself by getting caught up on the hows.  Then, consider if you are even close to welcoming that into your life or if it is a distant wish.

The words, GOAL SETTING can almost be language barriers as to what it is all really about.  Goal setting is only the tip of the iceberg.  It is your mind maps, the place where your habits are stored where the real work and changes take place... the goals are a great vehicle for the real work to occur.



Tasty treats
More snacking tips:

    * Replace chocolate bar with chocolate-dipped strawberry.
    * Replace fatty potato chips with lightly salted pretzels.
    * Replace savoury Jatz and camembert cheese with corn thins and peanut butter.
    * Replace gourmet ice creams like Magnums (282 Calories) with a chocolate paddle pop (98 Calories).

When healthy snacking, be sure to still snack small, schedule snacks (so that you avoid overeating) be prepared (have healthy snacks available, rather than heading straight to the vending machine) and avoid sugary drinks. Think H2O!

"4 Keys to Weight loss Success,"   Click here to download your copy now.


Time management tip 

Getting on track with your time management skills is a difficult step.  The best way to do it is just start the new regime with immediate effect.  Schedule things in!  They get done and you know where your free time actually is and isn’t.  Also... practice the art of saying ‘no’. Being honest with self and others is very effective.  Saying “I just don’t have the extra time” is a great approach, especially when it is genuine because you have some remnants of a schedule to guide you.  We get distracted easily and wonder where our time went all the while feeling snowed under.  Schedule, schedule, schedule!  Don’t micro manage the fun out of your life, just develop some self direction and self discipline. 


An exciting opportunity to advance the coaching profession!
I would like to invite you personally to be a part of the 2008 International Coach Federation (ICF) Global Coaching Client Study.    To participate in the survey, please click on the link:


Quick easy lunch – Megga good for you

It takes about 3 seconds

Bowl of chick peas

Small can of tuna

Handful of cherry tomatoes

A little diced fetta


Hey presto... ready to eat


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To shine or not to shine?

Get your edge.  Beat procrastination, being stuck, lack of focus and passion or drive before they beat you.  People that step out and apply life coaching will tell you Coaching worked for them.  Your return on your investment will reduce your initial concerns about costs or the Coaching methods into a distant unnecessary doubt.  You can put up with your circumstance, because...they’re ok... or, you can join the ranks of those who reach success and learn to shine.  You know who they are because you see them shining.  I’m not sure you can put a price on that!

Tips and Bits 09 July 08

Roslyn Loxton - Monday, November 03, 2008


Mid Year Review of “you”  

Reflect on your year thus far and set some goals on what you would like to achieve over the next six months. For those of you  who are presently rolling your eyes, goal setting research has repeatedly found that a desired outcome is significantly more likely when goals are set. Health,  financial, personal, relationships and career are the core goal domains.  I look forward to hearing your progress over the upcoming months.  Let me know if you would like some assistance in setting those goals.


My goal, is to have a full Coaching practice of clients to whom I am extremely effective.  

Thought of the week.

You see things how you are expecting to see themLook for the potential and the possible positives.

Food  Tip  of the Week
Allow both moderation and a balanced approach to nutrition and the foods that cross your daily dietary path.
 If you have a blow out it doesn’t mean you have to give in.  Ask yourself where is your nutrition coming from.  Make eating balanced and healthy easy and likely to happen.  Nuts and apples are great snacks.


Recipe  of the Week


Chicken Lasagne (Good to freeze for lunches)


Chicken mince – cook up with your favourite herbs and spices added (coriander, lemon grass, sweet chilli)

Egg plant – sliced and blanched

Zucchini – sliced long ways and blanched

White sauce – however you like to make it

Egg Pasta sheets


Layer of pasta sheets, layer of chicken mince, layer of paster sheets, layer of white sauce,  layer of eggplant and zucchini, Layer of pasta sheets, layer of white sauce, light sprinkle of cheese to top.

Cook 35mins in 200 Degrees

Serving suggestion:  A medium slice of lasagne with a nice big green salad


One of the largest  challenges people face in their lives is the inability to accept things  the way they are, and move on if necessary. Instead, much time is spent  dwelling on what was, what could have been and what they felt it should  have been.
Sarah Edelman’s bestseller, “Change your thinking” –  –   is a great reference for individuals who are aware of their inability to  move on, but who need a little cognitive help in doing so.





Tips and Bits 27 August 08

Roslyn Loxton - Monday, November 03, 2008
Success is not a matter of luck, circumstance or fate, but a direct consequence of having specific, measurable goals with a plan of action to achieve them.


The way you think (High Life – Matt Church)

Body chemistry is influenced by how you think.  If you’re scared, adrenalin kicks in, when you’re sad, serotonin levels are decreased.  Controlling how you think is an essential step in the balance of body chemistry and the pursuit of a naturally high life


Habit 6 (S. Covey)


Principles of Creative Cooperation

Synergy is the essence of principle-centered leadership.  It is the essence of principle-centered parenting.  It catalyzes, unifies, and unleashes the greatest powers within people.  One plus one equals three


Turn Fat into muscle

Most diet plans depend on willpower for success.

One of the most potent fat burners around is lurking right below your own skin.  It’s muscle, and building more can turn your body into a fat burning machine.  For each 455g/1 lb of muscle you build, you’ll burn an extra 50 calories a day – just sitting still.



Super food low GI breakfast

Yummy and filling

Honey, I shrunk my gut


1 cup skim milk or rice milk

½ cup plain instant oats

½ banana or (blue or blackberries)

1 tablespoon peanut butter

1 teaspoon honey

1 teaspoon of ground flaxseed(health food shop)

1 teaspoon of cinnamon


Mix together and microwave for 2 – 3 mins

You may need to splash a little more milk

This should keep you full for hours, so no snacking.


Do you know why you don’t get things done?

Because they are not high enough on your priority list



Do you know what your strengths are?

Make a list of what you are naturally attracted to, what your natural skills are.

Fill your life with things that take advantage of your strengths and passions

Can you find a way that you can do this in your current job?


Be true to yourself, no matter what.




Web site queen




Why did the toad cross the road

To visit it’s flat mate



Ever considered Team Coaching?

Contact Ros for further information

For a free session to trial the Coaching process call or email Ros



Tell yourself you are going to have a rewarding week.